oh, so I AM doing something good for myself to pull myself up by my bootstraps
I joined weight watchers again and have walked every day this week.
I have 12 weeks (now closer to 11) until I turn 40.

that's at least 12 lbs i want off my body!

so, I'm feeling a little better about myself.
Still dont' want to "DO" anything.

The end of another week

So, it's Friday.
yay


.
.
.
.
.
yep. Friday.
What'd i do this week? well, besides wallow in my own slightly depressed mudpit, I connected with the Petco, sent out a last minute special for my business and it brought in 2 clients.

so, not too bad
I've convinced myself i'll do one thing per week to stay in touch with my clients.
So that's 4 things i will do on rotation
1. birthday emails. Send emails out to clients who'se birthdays are in that month offering a B'day discount
2. Send a newsletter with monthly specials, updates, health tidbits and zen like relaxation techniques...(sit up straight at your desk and breathe) kind of shit.
3.
4.

huh. maybe i'll just do 2 things.

I just found out that another MT I know is so fucking burnt out on doing massage and the lack of security he's going back to school to become a nurse.
Now, I dont' want to be a nurse. But it was sadly a HUGE relief for me to hear he's dying in the field as well. we've both been at this for 14+ years and seriously folks....we're done.

So, I'm back to the dogs. I told shane i can visualize trying to build a new practice in a whole new town, but for me to work at it here...i don't want to. And if you don't want something..it won't happen.

so,
when's your Birthday?
I'll send you a coupon

what memory?

So lately i've been very blonde. Forgetful, scatterbrained, uuuhhh, distracted...you get the point. Some would say it's because i have a 2 year old but I just can't believe that. Some would also like to say it's because i'm about to turn 40 (in December thank you very much). Again, I don't fall for that.

There's something up. I'm so fucking bored with my life it's killing my brain! I'm burnt out. I'm depressed. So, what's new right? welcome to the realities of our lovely economic depression (note the word "depression").

So what do i do? I don't want to market my business but i'm just barely scraping by. I would love to take classes but don't have the money for it. I DID, however, buy about a hundred bucks worth of dog training/behavior books to further my skills in the doggy world.

I've Also come to the realization that 14 years in the same career is starting to wear on me. Now, I don't think i've learned all there is to learn. I do think that if given the opportunity to take some good classes i'd feel a little more motivated in my field. But alas...no cash.

So what do i want to do next? How do I plan on obtaining that next big goal??

well, my life is going to go to the dogs!
seriously. I love dogs. I love teaching people. I love seeing the dogs progress. So i've signed up for a class with Strega. I've purchased $100 of books. I've contacted Petco again about teaching with them again (a source of income). The cool thing is that the assistant manager said she'd like to talk to the regional manager for something or other about me teaching the instructor course! huh....that was just the boost to my ego i needed.

Maybe, juuuust maybe, if i take a "job", it'll give me the break i need from being a struggling massage therapist. Maybe it'll give me a much needed financial cushion. and ...AND maybe it'll allow me some extra money to take classes in Massage AND dog training! Hell, maybe Petco will send me to the seminars i want to take on THEIR dime!!!???

hmmmm, memory. wasn't this whole thing about memory? oh yeah. I forgot.