Sunday, December 19, 2010

MAY 5, 2008

Remove May 5, 2008
It’s not THAT bad...right??
Current mood:exhausted
ok, so i'm usually an upbeat, optimistic person...Still am I'm sure, somewhere under the sleep depraived exterior...she still exists.
So, little Declan turned 3 weeks this past friday (yay). at his 2 week appointment he'd gained 2lbs. He's started to develop that double chin that babies have. Jabba the hut as I like to call him. He loves to sleep all day. did I mention sleep deprivation? Well it's all self inflicted and I don't mind admitting it. Several friends have told, urged, warned me to sleep during the day when he does. But you all know me. I don't stop moving. blame it on genetics. My grandmother was the same way. Things need to get done. Dishes won't wash themselves, especially since the Friigin dishwasher stopped working. Dogs need to be fed, floors cleaned, babies fed and changed. Oh, and there's a little detail about feeding myF'ing SELF!!! I have3 more weeks until I'm supposed to be back to work part time. THREE weeks!?? who am I kidding?! I feel like i need a year to get my shit together. But then again, I'm dying to get back to work. Oh, there was a point...I need to learn to nap whenever Declan naps right? Well, that'd be all day. he's up for a while, then naps for anywhere from one to 4 hours, then wakes up to eat. So, I go to bed relatively early, try to sleep as late as possible and do my best to not KILL the dogs when they wake me up at 7 in the morning or interrupt a perfectly good nap in the middle of the day.
Oh, and Shane's in Florida for another 4 days. I miss him terribly!!! Not just because he's my favorite person and I'm madly in love with him and I HATE being apart from him, but he's an amazing Daddy and Husband. He had been home enough to let me take Declan so I could nap when he was awake but didn't need to be attached to me.
I'm not going to go into detail about the financial side of me not working for 2 months.
But overall, it's not that bad right? I've got this amazing family that makes my heart sing louder than the songs of the crazy drug addled hamsters that run my brain
And honestly, Declan's sleep patterns will eventually even out. I'll go back to work, Shane will be home in 4 days and I'm going to put the dogs in their cages tonight in the hopes of sleeping past 7am.
so's not that bad
and now, it's 10:30 at night and i'm putting myself to bed. Wish me luck on more than an hours sleep at a time. HA

MARCH 26 2008

filling in the gaps
Current mood:loved
So, i was just reading my blogs.
what’s new with me? well, i’m 12 days away from my "due" date. The initial thrill of baby movement in the belly hasn’t QUITE worn off, but i’m completely used to it now. I’m sure I’ll be sort of lost when i don’t have the little squirrel moving around in me. well, I take that back. I won’t be lost without it, i’ll have the little guy/girl in my arms squiggling around and trying to break out of the crib I’m sure.
I also thought I’d fill in the gaps of how my year went last year.
AS you all know, i married the long lost love from tx - Shane
I went down to visit in June, was high as a kite (on love!!!) the whole weekend. He proposed to me that weekend!! I said yes - of course.
July - went back for a visit - got knocked up (apparently my dr wasn’t comPLETELy right when he said i may need help getting pregnant...oops) but we were completely thrilled and freaked out by it!
August and Sept - Shane came up here for visits
Oct - we got married
Nov.- he moved up here
That was last year. This year’s been about work, getting ready for the baby and loving my life with the most amazing husband who spoils me WAY beyond what I could have ever expected!!!
I can’t wait to meet this little person that’s been growing in me. I’ll post pictures as soon as we have the baby and I have a spare minute.

nov 11, 2007

the alien is on the move
Current mood:giddy
So just a few days ago, i got up from sitting down and felt sort of ...cramped on one side of my tummy. Then all of a sudden it sort of shifted.
I mean...not a flutter, not a slither...just a shift.
I hate to say it, but for a moment i thought "gee, do i have to go potty??". How sad that the first movements I recognize i compare to a bowel movement!
but the cool thing is that now that I know what it IS, i'm THRILLED! Just tonight Shane and I were watching a movie and he had his hand on my belly and he says "I felt that!!!". What an amazing thing! He felt a shift that I didn't even feel. He agreed it's more of a Slide or shift on the inside of the belly than a full blown movement. Nothing major, just a small movement.
I'm so in love! My husband blows me away every day and I'm dumbfounded he's actually HERE and I get to spend every day with him! It's so natural and comfortable to have my family here...FINALLY!!
We're having a Gumbo Dinner this coming Sat the 17th so I'll try to take pictures to post.
I may also take photo's of the belly cuz it's definitely getting big enough to notice.
Oct 20, 2007
stories for the kid
Current mood:nerdy
So as many of you know...I have a vivid imagination. I know - i know....amazing. I'm SO calm and level headed you'd never think i could make up crazy stories. but i do. So here's one of the stories i've made up lately.
When asked "mommy, where did I come from?" (sometime in the future by the little Steddum child who willl be nothing but joy and angelic compliance to all my whims, demands, etc - note the vivid imagination already starting)
I will respond...well sweetie pie, you're actually an alien love child.
"Huh??" will more than likely be the sweet child's response (OR the poor thing will be so used to my outlandish stories that it'll just walk away)
If he/she wants a response, here it is.
Back in July of 2007, your father went to the local pub Chelsea's for lunch before picking me up at the airport. The local bar floozie, who firmly believed she had been abducted by aliens the night before, and was sharing the story with anyone who was unfortunate to be in earshot, was enamoured by your dad's beautiful eyes and was fervently trying to pick him up.
When trying to give him a lap dance, which he successfully deflecting by standing up She spilled her drink on him. He got his check and came to the airport to pick me up.
Well apparently, the little floozie wasn't kidding about being abducted by aliens. They were, however, VERY inept aliens who hadn't learned how to use their new implantation equipment. Therefore, leaving an implant pod on her nose instead of implanting it INTO her! I said they were inept...let's add stupid too. So, when she was trying to take a sip from the beer that she spilled on your dad, it would seem that she had also dipped her nose in the drink, dislodging the pod into the beer which became lodged onto your dad's shirt when she spilled her drink on him.
Later that weekend, my bellybutton started itching reeeally bad. I thought i'd gotten a bug bite of some sort and just forgot about it. It would seem that the pod was transferred from her nose, to her drink, to your dad, then onto me. It found it's way to my bellybutton and burrowed into my stomach where it grew for close to 10 months and then out you came!!
I figured, if you were smarter than all your alien enough to find your way into my belly, grow, not kill me and come out looking so incredibly beautiful and cute...Your dad and I just HAD to keep you and raise you as one of our own.

So...that's where you came from. awake?? darn...fell asleep again during one of my stories.. Oh well. I'm sure i can make up more for another time.
Jul 1, 2007
so, a friend of mine invited me to go Kayaking this weekend. At first (middle of last week) my response was "maybe, but i can't go paddling for 8 hours like you do...hell, i don't know that i can do, make that 2...I don't know if I can go" he pretty much hung up the phone.
Wait, let me back up and add the previous weekend. My friend Jane called me the week before (approx june 20th) and invited me to go to Cacapon Resort in WV. I hesitated but then accepted the invitation. It's a GREAT little pond with a beach and swimming area. We brought food and soaked up the sun after a dip in the water (which was much too cold for swimming in my opinion...i'll go back in August sometime). After hanging out with her i realized.."HEY...i got out of the house and it felt great!".
Now back to the kayaking story.
Apparently i needed an activity to destress. So, yesterday morning i called him up to see if he was still interested in paddling a bit. We met up in Ashburn, VA at a reservoir off of Belmont ridge road. It was FANTASTIC!!!
I will say that after about 90 minutes i was BEAT tired. I had also gotten up early and done some gardening and run errands. But I'll tell you what. I'm leaving the Kayak on the 'Bru and going out again soon! Maybe on the 4th since i've got the day off.
It's amazing how i've gotten into this pattern of "doing" to the detriment of "living". Sad! But not so sad for the fact that I've gotten out of the house and my sad little routine and started getting outdoors to enjoy and live life!
It just makes me realize that I've forgotten what it's like to get out into nature and listen. To what you may ask? well...if you don't know, then maybe you need to get out more often. Maybe I won't go Kayaking on the 4th, maybe I'll go for a hike on the A.T.
Anything other than sitting around my house lamenting about all the "chores" I have to do. They'll need to be redone in a week anyway. So why not get out and enjoy nature?? So...that's my thoughts for today. Hope you all get a chance to go outside and listen.
Jun 30, 2007
ok, just read the 2007 goals...i'm ON it!!!
travel - I went to venezuela
I've been hanging out with my friends as much as possible - which is still not really enough.
enjoy life and know thyself....i'm working on it
shave time off triathlon....wish me luck i'm going for a bike ride tomorrow

June 30, 2007

Jun 30, 2007
2007 update
well, this year has been a rollercoaster to sya the least!! Started off with the Ex moving out in January. Business took an expected seasonal nosedive, but picked back up.
February brought an unexpected surprise. An old college love of mine got back in touch with me through myspace of all things!!
March - June was a bizarre experience for me. Business picked up, hired 2 new therapists and fell MADLY in love with that old college love i mentioned!
who knew i'd fall head over heels? i mean...truly head over heels! So, what's the rest of the year going to hold? I have no idea. I'm supposed to to the Iron Girl triathlon again in August, but i've not made the time to train. I'm taking another trip and a half to Arkansas this year. the half i'll tell you all about in November :).
Check out his pictures on the Eureka Springs photo album. Best wishes to everyone...i don't know if i've kept up with my 2007 goals...but these are SO much better!!!
love to all - s

Friday, September 24, 2010

oh, so I AM doing something good for myself to pull myself up by my bootstraps
I joined weight watchers again and have walked every day this week.
I have 12 weeks (now closer to 11) until I turn 40.

that's at least 12 lbs i want off my body!

so, I'm feeling a little better about myself.
Still dont' want to "DO" anything.

The end of another week

So, it's Friday.

yep. Friday.
What'd i do this week? well, besides wallow in my own slightly depressed mudpit, I connected with the Petco, sent out a last minute special for my business and it brought in 2 clients.

so, not too bad
I've convinced myself i'll do one thing per week to stay in touch with my clients.
So that's 4 things i will do on rotation
1. birthday emails. Send emails out to clients who'se birthdays are in that month offering a B'day discount
2. Send a newsletter with monthly specials, updates, health tidbits and zen like relaxation techniques...(sit up straight at your desk and breathe) kind of shit.

huh. maybe i'll just do 2 things.

I just found out that another MT I know is so fucking burnt out on doing massage and the lack of security he's going back to school to become a nurse.
Now, I dont' want to be a nurse. But it was sadly a HUGE relief for me to hear he's dying in the field as well. we've both been at this for 14+ years and seriously folks....we're done.

So, I'm back to the dogs. I told shane i can visualize trying to build a new practice in a whole new town, but for me to work at it here...i don't want to. And if you don't want won't happen.

when's your Birthday?
I'll send you a coupon

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

what memory?

So lately i've been very blonde. Forgetful, scatterbrained, uuuhhh, get the point. Some would say it's because i have a 2 year old but I just can't believe that. Some would also like to say it's because i'm about to turn 40 (in December thank you very much). Again, I don't fall for that.

There's something up. I'm so fucking bored with my life it's killing my brain! I'm burnt out. I'm depressed. So, what's new right? welcome to the realities of our lovely economic depression (note the word "depression").

So what do i do? I don't want to market my business but i'm just barely scraping by. I would love to take classes but don't have the money for it. I DID, however, buy about a hundred bucks worth of dog training/behavior books to further my skills in the doggy world.

I've Also come to the realization that 14 years in the same career is starting to wear on me. Now, I don't think i've learned all there is to learn. I do think that if given the opportunity to take some good classes i'd feel a little more motivated in my field. But cash.

So what do i want to do next? How do I plan on obtaining that next big goal??

well, my life is going to go to the dogs!
seriously. I love dogs. I love teaching people. I love seeing the dogs progress. So i've signed up for a class with Strega. I've purchased $100 of books. I've contacted Petco again about teaching with them again (a source of income). The cool thing is that the assistant manager said she'd like to talk to the regional manager for something or other about me teaching the instructor course! huh....that was just the boost to my ego i needed.

Maybe, juuuust maybe, if i take a "job", it'll give me the break i need from being a struggling massage therapist. Maybe it'll give me a much needed financial cushion. and ...AND maybe it'll allow me some extra money to take classes in Massage AND dog training! Hell, maybe Petco will send me to the seminars i want to take on THEIR dime!!!???

hmmmm, memory. wasn't this whole thing about memory? oh yeah. I forgot.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

well now what!?

I don't really have a topic for this rant. Here's what's been goign on in my life so far for 2010. My childhood friend lost her dad, a truly remarkable man, to complications of brain cancer. Then on January 14th, a friend of mine lost her life when she got out of her broken down vehicle. She was struck by a dump truck.

tadaaaaaah, great way to start the year huh? But here's what i'm hoping for. I'm hoping that that is the end of the bad. Last year was so difficult for so many people including my family. I struggled and all that with my business. My hubby, bless his patient soul, has supported me 100% in rebuilding the business and ....well you get the point.

this year has started so much better than last year. If you have read my posts, you know that last january i took that hideous job at the dental office out of complete and utter fear that I could not afford to buy food! It was aweful. However, this year (besides the whole 2 funerals in a month thing) has started out very nicely. I'm feeling very safe. I was able to pay off a tax bill from 2008. I had money this morning when the mechanic said my brakes were shot and needed replacing. I'm getting out and walking when the weather permits, I'm doing weightwatchers to lose the 15lbs and in general things are fantastic!

so, now what? what's next on my "to do" list.
I don't really make new years resolutions


I want to reduce my debt. reduce my waste, reduce my clutter and overall simplify my existence.

I want to learn new massage techniques to further my skills in orthopedic massage. I want to reach other small businesses and "network" with them.

I want to strengthen my body, I guess I've got the answer to my "now what?" quesiton

let's see how it goes