Saturday, June 20, 2009


Which would be worse? to hear that your 20something child died at the hands of another, a random accident..or at their own hand?

I'm grappling with what to do for a friend of mine who's son is dead.
The initial report says his girlfriend and he broke up, he left a note and he walked into his front yard and shot himself in the head.

His mother says he would not do that

my question is...why the front yard?

but back to my original thought. If someone killed him, then there's that person to channel your anger on. If it's an get mad at god

if it's your own do you justify being angry at them? shouldn't they have known to come to you? or their brother? that... as their mother, you would do anything for them? I'm crying at the prospect of just ever knowing my son would ever be in enough pain to need me let alone consider taking his life!

Ok, pulling myself out of that

what do I do for her? I know, be there, help with the mundane, let her do the mundane, leave her alone, bring her food, take care of the pets...

There's nothing I can do for her.
And that breaks my heart again.

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